Confirmed - Seizures!!

My worst fear has come true - what I suspected may be seizures are. Drew's Infantile Spasms have changed into Complex Partial Seizures -

http://www.aboutkidshealth.ca/Epilepsy/Complex-Partial-Seizures.aspx?articleID=6975&categoryID=EP-nh2-02f

Yesterday this was confirmed by Drew's Neuro team and others in the IS community. The only way to truly confirm that these are seizures is by an EEG. We are now playing the waiting game to schedule the 24 hour VEEG (or the True Marriage Test is what I like to refer it as).

In the meantime, we have increased Drew's Keto Diet ratio to 3:1. Hopefully we can get seizure control by increasing the ratio. Our other option - medication. I hope it does not come to this.

Right now I am angry. I don't even think anger is a strong enough word to express this emotion I am feeling. It is anger, engraged, furious, hateful all in one. We went a year and a half with no seizures. Why now? Hasn't this child been through enough?

This is a new reaction for me. Before I was sad, but never maddened. I am sad now too, but I am extremely pissed as well. Who do I have to be angry at? I really do not believe that our God is a vengeful God, so I am mad at the world. Everyone, Everything. Period.